December 2009
1 post
What Made 2009 Suck So Badly? We Did.
Did you have fun in 2009?
Yeah. Neither did I. There were high points, to be sure.
But come on. The year was pretty dreary and you know it.
It was almost as if 2009 was simply destined to suck— like everyone knew going into it not to expect much, lest you face colossal disappointment when 2009’s inevitable complete and total shittiness finally surfaced.
And said shittiness did surface,...
April 2009
1 post
Some More "Hateful stuff." (Now With Pictures!)
Hey, so remember that post I made a while back where I made fun of people who choose to deal with traumatic life events by gluing shitty clip art to an index card and mailing it anonymously to a blog? No, you probably don’t. Why not? Probably because it wasn’t very funny, right? Yeah. Well.
I had planned to simply move on and forget all about yet another failure to create a hilarious...
March 2009
5 posts
Some Meditations On Two Things "Ponzi"-- In Which...
Easter is nearly upon us! In its honor, I have decided to resurrect my blog; which, incidentally, also died for your sins, and is more than ready to do so again.
Um. So, by popular demand (eg. a Twitter PM from my uncle: “Update your blog dickhead”)— we’ll give this blog thang another go.
We’ll start out with the biggest shocker of the past month, if not the whole...
Inappropriately Funny PostSecret Posts
Quick disclaimer: This post is predicated upon the idea that all PostSecret postcards are inherently funny— that the idea of sending an anonymous postcard about your personal problems to a blog is funny in and of itself. Because it’s so incredibly lame.
If you don’t share this view, this post will seem particularly obnoxious to you. Otherwise, it will be just regularly...
GQ: Why Brunch Blows:
Fake-farmy restaurants! Hangovers with strangers! Long lines! Watery mimosas! Seventeen-dollar French toast! Sickly orange slices sadly dying next to overwrought infantilizing pancake concoctions on chipped china! Half your waking weekend day spent in a hollandaise haze!
“Can I top off your shitty coffee?” Yes, please! Because it’s brunch. And everyone must love brunch. Because...
February 2009
16 posts
Best Album of 2k9 Gets A Name. And it's Not "No... →
I’d be way remiss if I didn’t mention that my favorite album of 2009 just got a cover, and a name, and a tracklisting.
It’s called “Manners”, and it’ll find its way into my sweaty, admittedly-a-little-too-obsessed hands on May 26.
Now, about these “Passion Pit” people: I don’t know much about them besides what I’ve read about on the...
Confession: I created a bro. (And I liked it.)
OK, so, wow— how to start. Well. Let’s just get right on into it. About two years ago, I did kind of a funny thing. (Definitely not funny ha-ha; funny queer.)
One morning, in the very uncertain and anxiety-ridden era of the year AD 2007, I woke up, had a nice breakfast, (in all likelihood) took a gnarly bong hit (salad days, those wake-&-bake-rs), and decided to create my...
plz,
DO NOT DRINK THIS ‘ENERGY...
Google Finds Lost-City Atlantis, Denies It →
[story and image via the NYT Bits Blog]
So some Ocean Mapping thing that Google’s doing (for whatever reason) fucked up and totally freaked out a whole bunch of nerds.
Amongst a whole lotta normal-looking ocean floor imagery, there was a tiny patch that looked a bit different. And so, everyone who regularly checks out online maps of the ocean floor gravitated, quite naturally, towards the...
2 tags
BTW: Here Are Some Fun Names To Say Whilst...
Slobodan Miloshevich
Ban Ki Moon
Don Cheadle
John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt (particularly fun if this happens to be your name too)
Sirhan Sirhan
Condoleezza Rice
Sanjay Gupta
George Stephanopoulos
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Beyonce
Spiderman Musical Gets Premiere Date →
So there’s a Spiderman Musical in production. “Wow!”, you might think. “Comic Books and Musicals! Now there’s a gay marriage I can support.”
Ha ha! Good one, you.
But, careful. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
Lurking beneath the innocuous coupling of superheroes and musical theater is something destined to turn an otherwise-happy gay...
